I love the time of year between Thanksgiving and the beginning of the New Year. I love new sparkling snow and twinkling lights, and the buzz you feel most everywhere even while rushing around. I love the songs of hope, faith, love, and Christ. And that these songs are playing in all the stores as I pick up conditioner, and batteries, and a few presents. Even though it is crazy I love that we also get to celebrate each of my kids getting a little bit bigger.
Unfortunately at our house we are teetering on the verge of losing a little bit of the magic of Christmas this year. We don't have lots of "faith" in magical creatures here. We've never really had a visit from the Easter Bunny and since our tooth fairy is forgetful and frequently lacking in the change department #2 figured that one out all on her own. That leaves only one bit of childhood magic left: Santa.
My kids have never wondered much about Santa until this year. Oh we've talked about naughty and nice lists and have Teeny our Elf on the Shelf who visits. We've watched Rudolf, The Polar Express, Elf, and The Santa Clause movies. We've talked about how Santa has lots of kids to deliver toys to, and so he has a budget just like Mom and Dad. We've been asked numerous times if Mom and Dad believe. But this year our oldest has started to ask more pointed questions.
I think the hardest part about being a grown up is seeing all the magic of life start to disappear. I put on my smile, and do my very best to keep all my worries and fear hidden away from my kids, friends, and occasionally even my husband. I've come to realize that just as I must be careful what I eat and watch before bed due to my overactive imagination, I must also be careful what I let myself dwell on if I'm to keep it all together. Otherwise my irrational and illogical worry can spread into anxiety and even wide spread panic.
Right now the one thing that might just send me over the edge into full fledged panic is the thought that I might just finally have to explain that Santa is really Mom and Dad. The thing is even though I know who is putting the presents under the tree. And sometimes I've even purchased some of my gifts myself I still do believe in Santa. I believe that Christmas is magical. It brings neighbors together in celebrations of love and faith. I want my kids to believe in magic forever, to be able to see all the little miracles of life. I want my kids to always love making snow angels and catching snow flakes on their tongues and forever keep away the painful reality that life is not always unicorns and rainbows.
I know that I can't always keep them small or safe. I enjoy all the fun adventures we have had as they've gotten older and I'm looking forward to the many adventures are to come. But a big part of me wants them to hold onto a bit of the childhood magic for a little while longer. So for now, I'm going to continue to tell my kids that I believe in Santa. That he exists and brings joy to millions of children on Christmas day. I know they won't believe me for much longer. But for now I'm going to everything I can to keep every bit of magic alive.
Love the sentiments expressed here... cheers to all of us for believing in the magic of this season.
ReplyDeleteI still believe, even though my children don't. Every year I still stick to the same routines and traditions and remind them that when they really stop believing they also stop receiving. I think this is what continues to keep the magic alive - just a little bit for us.
ReplyDeleteI miss your twinkling lights and driveway of snow (since it never melted as quickly as mine ;)