Do as I say not as I do

Before I had children I swore that I would never be one of those people who told their children "Do as I say not as I do." One day that wish literally went out the window and I learned that real parenting is a whole lot different than how I thought it would go prekid.

The poor oldest one has suffered from both night terrors and sleep walking since he was very little. When we transferred him into a toddler bed we ended up switching around the lock on his door because 1) I was afraid that he'd try to sleep walk down the stairs while I was sleeping and 2) I selfishly wanted to contain him during nap time. The downside to this was that if I was in the room and the door was locked and shut then I could not get out. You'd think that after the third or fourth time this happened that I would have remembered to put some sort of unlocking device somewhere in the room, but I didn't have that kind of foresight and so I did something that I never would have imagined possible.

I was trying to get the two oldest (and only at the time) aged 3 and 18 months ready for a play date at Grandma's. With myself and the youngest dressed. It was time to help the 3 year old get dressed. The 3 year old was the before mentioned poor oldest child with the switched around lock. We were all in the room when the door was locked from the outside and shut from the inside. Of course I didn't have my cell phone with me and no child was outside the door to retrieve the phone and push it under the door so that I could call a neighbor for help. Yes that had happened before, but again no foresight (or apparently hindsight). The weather was slightly drizzly and not a soul was within sight to give a friendly holler for help. So because I am absolutely brilliant I decided that what I would do is drop out of the 2nd story window.

Before I go on, you need that I have a good healthy phobia of heights. My least favorite ride at an amusement park is the Ferris Wheel. I don't like to drive up windy mountain roads. I can not watch people skydive on TV. So you can see why choosing to go out the window was a great idea. It took me all of about five minutes to work up the courage. I promptly forgot everything I'd ever seen on TV about tying the blankets together (not that it would have worked, more so that I didn't even think about it) and decided what I would do was climb out the window, hang by my finger tips, and drop to the ground.

But not only did I have to work up the courage to face my fear of heights head on, I also was going to do this in front of the 3 year old who I definitely didn't want to follow my example. I sat the two children on the little toddler bed and said something like "We are locked in and to get out, Mommy has to do something dangerous. You are NOT to do this thing ever. Poor oldest child you need to watch your sister and make sure that she does not do this thing. YOU are not to do this thing."

Then I opened the window, looked down, said a little prayer, took a deep breath, pointed to the children, said "Do not do this thing EVER." and climbed out the window. I'm not graceful and so I'm sure to anybody watching what I was doing I must have looked like I'd gone completely crazy. And I totally had. Getting onto the window sill, I somehow managed to get to the point I was hanging by my finger tips. I shouted up towards the window "Mommy's okay, do not do this thing EVER." Then I shut my eyes, counted to three and dropped to the ground.  Like a complete crazy person.

Luckily I was mostly unharmed, I'd sprained my ankle a bit but was otherwise okay. Not trusting the 3 year to "Do as I said, not as I did." My husband and I promptly picked up window locks and attached them to the windows. As of yet, none of the children have attempted to repeat this feat.

The moral of this story is, you might need to let go of a lot those ideal parent things you thought you would or would not do before children came into the picture. Oh and when the x-ray tech at the lab asks you if you are pregnant don't laugh because you might be pregnant with twins and just not know it yet. Yep I jumped out of a two story window in front of two children and pregnant with two more. I am She-ra He Woman Super Mom.

For those of you who are wondering. This is the view from the window.

This is the ledge I dropped from.

And yes I have learned my lesson and all the locks at our home are now correctly attached.